The Facebook mistakes people make after a date
Some people become so enamored after a date — especially a good first date — that they lose all sense of Facebook proportion. Now that Valentine’s is past, here are some guidelines for Facebook self-control.
February can make people excitable.
A new year is barely old. Hope springs eternal. And then there’s Valentine’s Day to add a little piquancy to their emotional state.
Sometimes, though, lovers suffer from a certain lack of self-control. This can manifest itself on society’s everyday manifest: Facebook.
I was moved, therefore, that someone had taken the time to list the major faux pas that occur when social contact accelerates beyond decent norms.
I am lovingly grateful to Ranker, which has taken it upon itself to reduce the rancor that might be caused by Facebooked overenthusiasm — the site has listed behavior to avoid.
Apparently the worst thing you can do after meeting someone in whose charm and personality you might be interested is to immediately send them a Facebook friend request.
This might seem obvious to some.
You don’t necessarily have any idea what the other person might really think of you. You know, inside their heads.
And, as Ranker wisely offers: “Now you’ve just given yourself something else to obsess over: ‘Why hasn’t my friend request been accepted? Why is it taking so long? Did they even see it?!’
And from one small click, a whole new series of sessions with your shrink is created.
It seems, though, that the human imagination has found many more ways of ruining the course of true love on Facebook.
People apparently pore over their new date’s Facebook page, seeking secrets to their true friends, thoughts, and, who knows, other objects of affection.
Some devolve into what seems utterly psychotic behavior, such as liking old photos of their new potential paramour. Who does that? Twisted humans, that’s who.
But Facebook offers so many more opportunities for self-destruction.
There’s revealing too much in your status update. Sample: “I just went on the best date ever with Marie Dupree and her sexy knees.”
Some people, though, go even further and attempt to insert themselves into comments on their love-object’s Facebook page, should they already be Facebook friends. Sample: “You look so WONDERFUL when you’re saluting the sun, Shoshanna. Can’t wait until we do some saluting together!!”
No, it doesn’t end there.
The Facebook gauche end up stalking every second of their new friend’s Timeline. (“She dated a clown in 2008? Why would she DO that?”)
Worse, there are apparently instances of enthusiasts who get so carried away that they start friending the families of their new objects of affection. (“Hi, Mrs. Aziel, you don’t know me, but your daughter and I….” Oh, you finish the sentence.)
Facebook offers so many avenues of potential despair that there is only one way that you can use it to avoid complication, pain, sorrow, heartbreak, sleepless nights, and that bottomless feeling of lost opportunity: Don’t go anywhere near it.